Some Notes on Phase A

I usually prefer to write fairly coherently, but I'm not sure I'm capable of that right now. Here are some observations:

*On instructors:

I was really pleased to find out that Pete is not the Demon of Crossroads Boulevard. He has actually been incredibly sweet and supportive. I like him.

Matt Romon was also a pleasure to learn from. There's none of the mind games I was told of, he's just teaching you and helping you to grow. Again, I like him.

There's a muscular & pretty girl here named L----- who is kind of mean. I'm sure she's very nice when you get to know her, but I'm staying away from her for now. She got really snippy with me on the first day & I was just about to get snippy back when I remembered Mami K told me, "They will know just how to get under your skin. Don't let them." So I shut the hell up. Besides, L----- looks like she could kill me with one hand, roll me up in a low-carb tortilla with the other hand & swallow me whole. And let's face it, she did take the time to come over & correct me a couple of times, which I appreciate. But when she looks at me she always appears to want to slap the shit out of me, so I try to stay out of arm's reach. They always say female instructors are hardest on potential female instructors, as a way of toughening them up, so I'm not taking it personally, I'm just staying out of her way.

*People break and then bounce back: On the 2nd or 3rd day (already they are blurring together, today was day 4) we had to do an absorbing drill at the end of the day where you cover your head & absorb constant punches to the gut. My partner was backing up & saying quietly, "I can't, I can't, I can't..." and I was yelling, "Yes, you can!" I was worried about her that night, but the next morning she showed up bright eyed & bushy tailed, ready to go. I like the fact that she punches hard & keeps going, even though her tendonitis is giving her a very hard time. She's also an experienced groundfighter, so she was great to partner with today on the ground. I mean freaking fantastic, also because she's only 5'2" & light as a feather. However, she gets sloppy on her standup sometimes & I've taken many hard hits to the head & ribs, which is making me grind my teeth a bit. She's not doing it on purpose, though, so whatever.

*All those problems I've always had punching my friends in the face, all my little internal struggles with that, are no issue here. I like these people, but they're not my friends & I punch them without hesitation. Hurray!

*Christian is having a bad day. Day 4 is traditionally the Bad Day, & he is suffering, but he has such a great attitude. I'm incredibly lucky to be here with him. Also, he is continuing to perform very well, even though today it was really taking everything he had. He has a black toenail (from an injury yesterday) that will eventually fall off, massive cuts and bruises everywhere, a large cut on the inside of his top lip, and his thigh is completely covered with a giant bruise from absorbing kicks. His partner is training to be a professional MMA fighter & kicks like Wayne, meaning even his soft kicks feel like you've been hit with a bat.
I looked over at him today to see how he was doing & he was going at it with his partner on the focus mitts & Christian had a look on his face like he was a total fucking psychopath. I mean scary! It was awesome.

*Last night I had the Bad Night. The only time we actually get to eat real food is in the evening. You have to have a very light breakfast & maybe just a protein bar and a piece of fruit for lunch or you won't keep it down when the workout starts. Last night I waited too long to eat (filthy lying host at the restaurant!!!! An hour and a half is NOT half an hour!) By the time the food got there it was too late, my blood sugar had crashed too much & I was choking back vomit at the table while I shoved a melted protein bar in my mouth with tears streaming down my face. I wasn't actually "crying" but there was water coming out of my eyes, if that makes sense. I was just SO hungry from the workout. When dinner finally came I shoved as much of the food into my belly as I could then literally staggered out of there & fell asleep the instant my butt hit the car seat. (Jackie was driving, he came to see me & take me out to a special dinner, the sweet thing.) La Fogata can go straight to Hell and take their delicious Mexican food with them.

*Today Big Daddy J came to visit us! It was such a nice surprise, like a ray of sunshine, but I also felt really self conscious at first. (Dork.) He gave me some good advice on what I was doing wrong during an exercise, but now I have no idea what it was, or even what we were doing. Everything is blurring together into a haze of pain and sweat.

*Matt R. & Pete have left us now, and AJ & Todd will begin teaching us tomorrow. I was very sad to see Matt & Pete go, and am a little bit nervous about how AJ & Todd will be, but frankly I'm just too tired to work up much anxiety about that or anything else.

*I look like a refugee, I smell like a barn, and I haven't had a full night's sleep in days. None of us have. I'm dropping weight quickly. And until today I've been doing all this with a cold, which worked out to my advantage, because it lowered my voice & forced me to focus harder because I was trying not to faint. Now I'm off to take a cold shower. Thank you and good night!