I need to be stronger, so Big Daddy J has told me to stop worrying about coming in first in CrossFit & pick the heaviest weight I can manage. I'm to do everything with heavy weights, with perfect form, as slowly as it takes to complete the workout. Yesterday I got cut off, I didn't even complete all the rounds. I didn't used to be competitive about this stuff, but now that I've become so, it's difficult to let others pass me by! Yeah, yeah, I know in my brain that this is exactly what I need to do to improve, I'm just saying I'm immature enough that I'm having to force myself to do what's correct instead of what's easy.
My plan is this: I turn 44 on October 19, so I will do this 'slow & heavy' program until then, and then I will pick up the speed again. I think 2 months is enough time to become stronger & better. Anyway, I need a goal to shoot for or I'll peter out.
And as far as grinding my teeth about seeing everyone "beat" me, I keep reminding myself of a great quote I read on t-nation yesterday: "Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone."
I love that, and believe its true. I also believe that the reason most people become fat/lazy/numb is that we as a species tend to seek comfort over capacity, as Mark Twight puts it. I used to do that, too, and felt myself slipping back toward that habit recently. I'm having to refocus my objectives: take off the 10 pounds of fat I've earned by gobbling up every carb I can find lately, & commit to a new workout schedule that accommodates the teaching time I'm now putting in (which was previously workout time). This heavy & slow CrossFit plan is a step in the right direction.