Tuesday, September 25, 2012

I take It Back

I didn't think I was full of shit when I made my last post. 

When I said didn't have much feeling one way or the other about the more extreme crimes committed by some of the inmates housed in the facility in which I work, I believed it.

Then the very next night something changed my mind.  A particular inmate was convicted of doing something violent and horrible to a person who was defenseless.  I won't say what he did, because I really don't know what I'm allowed to say outside of work.  This guy was being moved to someplace he didn't want to go and told a lie to postpone it.  First he said it to another officer, then later to me. I told him he was going anyway and he just turned around and sat down, emotionless. 

When he spoke to me I had the sensation of cockroaches crawling on my skin.

I told another, more experienced officer how I'd reacted and she told me, "That's your instinct warning you.  Listen to it."

She made me think of Gavin de Becker's "Gift of Fear".  The people I used to refer to in Krav Maga class as "types" of attackers are real people now with faces and names and voices.   

1 comment:

  1. Parker,

    Unfortunately, in this line of work, you don't get to chose with whom you come into contact. There is good and bad in that like in anything. The good is that you just never know what interesting person may across your path, and sometimes people change our lives for the better. The bad is that you may not be seeking it, but you may be forced to look evil in the eye. Beware, it looks back.

    You will never go wrong with treating people with dignity, no matter what they have done outside those four walls. As long as you do it with a healthy dose of caution and from a safe distance. I pray for your safety and hope to see you again soon! I miss our talks and your spunky spirit!

    Theresa Jester