I am reprimanded for 2 things regarding this blog:
1 - I swear too much, including blasphemy.
2 - I denigrate my own accomplishments too much & don't give myself enough credit.
My official response:
1 - I do swear quite a bit, don't I? I love a good swear word. Take the "F" word, for example. Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside just like a quesadilla. It's a hardworking word, too, being a verb, a noun, and an adjective. I think its quite beautiful.
Regarding blasphemy and other swear words, I told her the following.
"Mom," I said, "God likes me and I like God. We have a good relationship. And He says that He's noticed I don't rape & murder people, or molest children, or set dogs on fire, so He told me He's going to let this one slide."
2 - It's also true that I write a lot about my shortcomings in Krav. This is because I generally tend to think of what I want to improve instead of ruminating on how well I keep my back heel up in fighting stance. In the interest of parity, and because I love my mom & want her to be happy, here is a list of Krav things I do well:
*I am a hard worker. I continued to come to class the entire two months my injured shoulder left me incapacitated, and I still rarely miss a session.
*I do not quit easily. Twice I've had to leave class to vomit, and both times I've immediately staggered back into the room to finish training.
*I care about my students and want them to succeed, and will jump through any number of hoops to help bring this about.
*I am very teachable. If my instructor tells me to fix something, I always try do so as quickly as possible, preferably immediately.
*I am a good teacher. I really believe that, and it makes me incredibly happy.
*I work on my weak points as soon as I recognize a problem, and do not stop working on them until they are better. Right now my weakest skill is sparring, so instead of practicing my front kick, which is already strong, I'm doing a lot of sparring. It's kind of embarrassing, but that's the door I have to walk through to get to where I want to be.
*I'm outperforming some people half my age. Bwahahahaha!
*I'm not as good as I want to be, but I'm a whole lot better than I was. I earned this.
*I smell like roses. This is a verifiable fact.
Ta dah!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
It's Good for My Character, I Suppose
I need to be stronger, so Big Daddy J has told me to stop worrying about coming in first in CrossFit & pick the heaviest weight I can manage. I'm to do everything with heavy weights, with perfect form, as slowly as it takes to complete the workout. Yesterday I got cut off, I didn't even complete all the rounds. I didn't used to be competitive about this stuff, but now that I've become so, it's difficult to let others pass me by! Yeah, yeah, I know in my brain that this is exactly what I need to do to improve, I'm just saying I'm immature enough that I'm having to force myself to do what's correct instead of what's easy.
My plan is this: I turn 44 on October 19, so I will do this 'slow & heavy' program until then, and then I will pick up the speed again. I think 2 months is enough time to become stronger & better. Anyway, I need a goal to shoot for or I'll peter out.
And as far as grinding my teeth about seeing everyone "beat" me, I keep reminding myself of a great quote I read on t-nation yesterday: "Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone."
I love that, and believe its true. I also believe that the reason most people become fat/lazy/numb is that we as a species tend to seek comfort over capacity, as Mark Twight puts it. I used to do that, too, and felt myself slipping back toward that habit recently. I'm having to refocus my objectives: take off the 10 pounds of fat I've earned by gobbling up every carb I can find lately, & commit to a new workout schedule that accommodates the teaching time I'm now putting in (which was previously workout time). This heavy & slow CrossFit plan is a step in the right direction.
My plan is this: I turn 44 on October 19, so I will do this 'slow & heavy' program until then, and then I will pick up the speed again. I think 2 months is enough time to become stronger & better. Anyway, I need a goal to shoot for or I'll peter out.
And as far as grinding my teeth about seeing everyone "beat" me, I keep reminding myself of a great quote I read on t-nation yesterday: "Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone."
I love that, and believe its true. I also believe that the reason most people become fat/lazy/numb is that we as a species tend to seek comfort over capacity, as Mark Twight puts it. I used to do that, too, and felt myself slipping back toward that habit recently. I'm having to refocus my objectives: take off the 10 pounds of fat I've earned by gobbling up every carb I can find lately, & commit to a new workout schedule that accommodates the teaching time I'm now putting in (which was previously workout time). This heavy & slow CrossFit plan is a step in the right direction.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Yuck
Just saw video of myself "sparring" the Gentleman this morning. Sweet baby Jesus. I look like a timid little mouse. Poor G is just going about 20% on me, how sad for him! It's extremely clear in the video that I will do just about anything but strike my friend in the face. How depressing. The good news is, this is going to make an excellent "before" video!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Ladies class went well tonight. Jeff announced we are making the class a permanent part of the schedule - yay! - and everyone was very happy to hear it. Tonight we worked hammers, vertical front kicks (the lazy man's term for the kick), and bear hugs. I am scared of Mighty Mouse. If she ever demands money or food or cute shoes from me, I will hand them over. I notice that when the Gentleman attacks me he does it hard and with abandon, with no thought to his own safety. I'm not like that. I'm too fearful when I attack. Working on it. That and about a million other things.
Also, I'm putting together a packet to be distributed at the ladies self defense seminar coming up in September. I've started creating a reading list of books and blogs for anyone who is interested in learning about that stuff, and downloaded some info off the Austin Police Department's website. Today I was asking questions of a husband and wife who are students at F&F - she's a cop and he's a former EMS worker. I'm creating a list of what people can expect from EMS, cops, and even their own friends in the immediate aftermath of an assault. One fascinating thing the EMS guy told me "her body will be treated like a crime scene". That creeped me out & I asked what he meant. He talked about not destroying evidence, treating any life threatening injuries, but then letting her get to the police as quickly as possible so EMS doesn't accidentally ruin the case. An example he gave was that sexual assault attackers often bite or lick their victims, and if he licks her hand, and the EMS workers go to put an IV in her hand, they'll sterilize it first - destroying any DNA evidence that could have been collected from the saliva. This stuff is fascinating to me. More to come.
Also, I'm putting together a packet to be distributed at the ladies self defense seminar coming up in September. I've started creating a reading list of books and blogs for anyone who is interested in learning about that stuff, and downloaded some info off the Austin Police Department's website. Today I was asking questions of a husband and wife who are students at F&F - she's a cop and he's a former EMS worker. I'm creating a list of what people can expect from EMS, cops, and even their own friends in the immediate aftermath of an assault. One fascinating thing the EMS guy told me "her body will be treated like a crime scene". That creeped me out & I asked what he meant. He talked about not destroying evidence, treating any life threatening injuries, but then letting her get to the police as quickly as possible so EMS doesn't accidentally ruin the case. An example he gave was that sexual assault attackers often bite or lick their victims, and if he licks her hand, and the EMS workers go to put an IV in her hand, they'll sterilize it first - destroying any DNA evidence that could have been collected from the saliva. This stuff is fascinating to me. More to come.
Many Rounds of Bang
Though I've been telling myself for ages to get back to working out properly, I just always seem to be "too busy", which, of course, is bullshit. So last week I took GB's level 3/4 class to get myself jump started, and last night I took it again. I think its working. I partnered with Miss C, my favorite partner, who I haven't worked with in several months, and we did fun stuff I didn't know how to do, so I'm learning again! Then for about the last 10 minutes of class we sparred. Yay! I've started having trouble punching people in the face again, I guess because its been 6 weeks or so since I've done any sparring. After a few rounds I was ok, so clearly I just need to do it as often as possible.
Fortunately the Gentleman asked me to spar after class, so we went at it for about half an hour, then I stepped into the MMA class in room 1. My first class being taught by Tap. More sparring. One hour. Freaking awesome.
Now I ache. There is no part of me that does not ache.
Last night, when I got home, I took a shower & climbed into bed, where I proceeded to dream that I was, you guessed it, sparring. I woke up at 3:18 a.m., cursing myself. Enough with the punching, I need some rest.
Its funny how perception can deviate so very much from reality. Between rounds I had my hands on my hips, pacing around in circles. Big Daddy J beckoned me into the lobby and asked me if I was feeling pretty good. "You must be, the way you're strutting around like a badass." Ha. If I'd had the energy to laugh, I would have. The truth was that my heart rate was up so much from being out of shape that if I stopped moving I got sick to my stomach. I could sit down with my head between my knees, or lay on my back, to achieve the same end, but Relentless had taught me never to do that when I went to Phase, never to show weakness to my instructors. I figured it was good practice to keep that habit up, so I just keep moving, trying to keep the "Dear God, somebody help me" look off my face. Guess it worked!
More sparring with the Gentleman on Thursday. Yay!
Fortunately the Gentleman asked me to spar after class, so we went at it for about half an hour, then I stepped into the MMA class in room 1. My first class being taught by Tap. More sparring. One hour. Freaking awesome.
Now I ache. There is no part of me that does not ache.
Last night, when I got home, I took a shower & climbed into bed, where I proceeded to dream that I was, you guessed it, sparring. I woke up at 3:18 a.m., cursing myself. Enough with the punching, I need some rest.
Its funny how perception can deviate so very much from reality. Between rounds I had my hands on my hips, pacing around in circles. Big Daddy J beckoned me into the lobby and asked me if I was feeling pretty good. "You must be, the way you're strutting around like a badass." Ha. If I'd had the energy to laugh, I would have. The truth was that my heart rate was up so much from being out of shape that if I stopped moving I got sick to my stomach. I could sit down with my head between my knees, or lay on my back, to achieve the same end, but Relentless had taught me never to do that when I went to Phase, never to show weakness to my instructors. I figured it was good practice to keep that habit up, so I just keep moving, trying to keep the "Dear God, somebody help me" look off my face. Guess it worked!
More sparring with the Gentleman on Thursday. Yay!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Taking a Bite
Taught level 1 last night in the small room. I don't think I've ever done that before. It was a pretty big class, and we worked palm heel strikes, round kicks, front kicks to a vertical target, and 360's. How I love 360's. Such a natural movement. Mudslide came and sat in on class for a while, so I had him attack me for the demonstration & he was brilliant. Good hard attacks, but very visible.
I've just finished writing an article for the new website called "The Unwritten Rules of the Mat", an idea I stole from watching the Tour de France where they had a similar story about the rules of the peloton.
Looking back on last night's class, I realize how often people just instinctively know the rules of good behavior in class, even though they can sometimes be different than those of the outside world. It's extremely rare for someone to just be an outright ass in training. I refer in the article to an incident when I had to strike back at someone who was being reckless & hurting other students (including me) by running over them when pushing his partner back with his strikes. It was making me mad, but I knew he was pretty new to this, so I tapped him on the shoulder & asked him politely to stop doing that. He said he would, then slammed into us again. I asked him a little more sternly to be careful. I saw him running over other people, stomping their ankles & hurting them. Ooooh, it made me mad. So I positioned myself next to him during the next round, & when he ran over me I body slammed him & stuck my finger in his face & told him he'd better cut the crap right now. He was shocked, and after class came over to me & apologized repeatedly. It turned out he really hadn't meant to harm anyone, he was just being a wild man trying to keep up with his more experienced partner. I felt kind of bad at the time about how mean I'd been to him, but it was only then that he stopped stomping us all to death. I guess sometimes when a growl doesn't work you have to take a little bite.
I've just finished writing an article for the new website called "The Unwritten Rules of the Mat", an idea I stole from watching the Tour de France where they had a similar story about the rules of the peloton.
Looking back on last night's class, I realize how often people just instinctively know the rules of good behavior in class, even though they can sometimes be different than those of the outside world. It's extremely rare for someone to just be an outright ass in training. I refer in the article to an incident when I had to strike back at someone who was being reckless & hurting other students (including me) by running over them when pushing his partner back with his strikes. It was making me mad, but I knew he was pretty new to this, so I tapped him on the shoulder & asked him politely to stop doing that. He said he would, then slammed into us again. I asked him a little more sternly to be careful. I saw him running over other people, stomping their ankles & hurting them. Ooooh, it made me mad. So I positioned myself next to him during the next round, & when he ran over me I body slammed him & stuck my finger in his face & told him he'd better cut the crap right now. He was shocked, and after class came over to me & apologized repeatedly. It turned out he really hadn't meant to harm anyone, he was just being a wild man trying to keep up with his more experienced partner. I felt kind of bad at the time about how mean I'd been to him, but it was only then that he stopped stomping us all to death. I guess sometimes when a growl doesn't work you have to take a little bite.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill!
Well, that's a movie that I've never seen, but it just has the best name ever. It's these ladies in our ladies-only class I'm thinking about. They're starting to get a big more aggressive & it's tickling me to no end. Juuuuuuust a little bit, it's poking through. You can see the difference between the women who are there for their first or second class & those who have been doing it a while, and I'm loving that!
Tonight we worked chokes, a source of frustration for me, because they are so shy about their defenses, and real life chokes are just so scary and horrible. I know it takes time to build that aggression up - for me it actually took years, and I'm still not where I want to be. But I was raised on MTV and microwave ovens and I want everything NOW!
So it was so cool when we went out into the creepy hallway, where you can't see around any of the corners, & choked each other. When you get people in a new environment they really loosen up, and we started seeing some real progress! Then, the most fun, each of us, including me, went through a gauntlet of the whole class. Each side of the narrow-ish hallway was lined with potential attackers, and you never knew who - if anyone - it would be. The most nerve-wracking part was standing there with your back to everyone while Mighty Mouse gave out attacker assignments. We are strongly encouraging everyone to use their voices to yell at their attackers & one lady yelled, "Get off me!" and to her very next attacker she yelled, "You, too!" and we all laughed. Its getting more and more fun as we get to know each other.
Tonight we worked chokes, a source of frustration for me, because they are so shy about their defenses, and real life chokes are just so scary and horrible. I know it takes time to build that aggression up - for me it actually took years, and I'm still not where I want to be. But I was raised on MTV and microwave ovens and I want everything NOW!
So it was so cool when we went out into the creepy hallway, where you can't see around any of the corners, & choked each other. When you get people in a new environment they really loosen up, and we started seeing some real progress! Then, the most fun, each of us, including me, went through a gauntlet of the whole class. Each side of the narrow-ish hallway was lined with potential attackers, and you never knew who - if anyone - it would be. The most nerve-wracking part was standing there with your back to everyone while Mighty Mouse gave out attacker assignments. We are strongly encouraging everyone to use their voices to yell at their attackers & one lady yelled, "Get off me!" and to her very next attacker she yelled, "You, too!" and we all laughed. Its getting more and more fun as we get to know each other.
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