Last night started with the Gorgeous Bastard, level 3/4. Sparring. Translation: me getting hit. I KNOW I should warm up before class, because I'm completely useless for the first 20-30 minutes if I don't, but somehow I always manage to chat with my friends instead of warming up. Then I get hit in the face. Gotta address that. Also I was SO sore from Monday's Bataan Death March - I mean Crossfit - that I could barely get my butt off the floor to kick my attacker during the Get Your Butt Off The Floor & Kick Your Attacker exercise. We also worked with knife attacks, but the absolutely coolest thing that happened was when Miss C, my partner for the evening, advanced & gave me a hard vertical front kick to the center of my chest. This very petite woman literally lifted me COMPLETELY off the floor & sent me flying backward like I was Wylie Coyote & landed me flat on my ass. I mean I was completely airborne. It was freaking awesome! We will now start to replace Chuck Norris with Miss C, as in...Superman has pictures of Miss C on his pajamas...Miss C isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Miss C...Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Miss C can swim through land...Miss C puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Thank God for yoga to calm me down! We did loooooong stretches & it was soooooo nice. As usual, someone attacked Spike & beat the poo out of him. You can set your watch by that event.

Lastly was MMA with the Professor. Coolest thing: my partner for focus mitt combos was this big guy who was supposed to say, "shoot!" & I would shoot in & pick him up as if to dump him. He said we wouldn't do that because he weighs 215 pounds & I wouldn't be able to pick him up. Sounds like a challenge! But of course I picked him up! When I do pushups I don't push myself up, I push the earth down! So I liked that I could pick him up. That dude better not have been hopping.

Best of luck to: Bam Bam, who has the gnarliest leg wound I've ever had the misfortune to see. I thought about amputating it with my pocketknife to help her out, but she got away.

And Beastie, who literally beat the stuffing out of a heavy bag before my very eyes. I think he'll be doing the same to an opponent in the ring in the very near future.

And The Gentleman, our brilliant star, who is off to his Phase B test this weekend. I feel sorry for the other people there trying to measure up to you!