Runnin' Up That Hill

Once, when I was 12 years old, I was scuba diving with my family off the coast of Florida. During the hour we were under water, the winds picked up & the sea became very rough. Long story short, there was an accident and I almost died. The skipper of the boat had to jump into the water & drag me into the boat, saving my life. The next day, my stepfather insisted we spend the day scuba diving. He said if I didn't jump back in at once, the memory of the event would sink into me & I would become afraid of the water. He said the only way to master fear is to attack it and fight through it immediately. I've been doing it that way ever since.

You may have read a few entries ago that I completely freaked out when the Gorgeous Bastard came into the room while I was practice teaching, so I decided to jump in the water & book a private lesson with him to just teach.

Well, we did it. At first, I was ridiculous, a nervous wreck. I don't even remember what we started with because I was just trying, and failing, to get my brain and mouth to work at the same time. Its no secret that I pretty much think the stars & planets revolve around GB, and I adore him even more for this: he didn't take it easy on me. He very sweetly but firmly insisted I teach him the hard stuff - elbows, 360's, teaching in the style of a full classroom and a private lesson, teaching as if I don't have a partner to demonstrate on. I made a million mistakes. We kept going. Finally, I was just exhausted. Not because I was doing much physically, but because my heart had been going faster than a hummingbird's the whole hour, so when he told me to teach him one last technique I just thought, "Oh, screw it, I can't worry about this any more, I'm just gonna do it." And I did it. And I did it well! Halle-freaking-leujah. So now we'll see what happens next time he walks in while I'm teaching. I think I won't freak out anymore, but if I do...you know what I'll do next!