Hallelujah. Forever I've been wondering what my problem was, why I couldn't go as hard as I needed to in front of the class & finally I realized that I've been thinking of myself as an interloper up there in other people's class. In my mind it wasn't my class, so what the hell was I doing taking up time? Also, I realized I have a tendency to submit to Alpha Males. And you know, you'd think there would be only one Alpha, but they're all Alpha-types to one extent or another, and my level of meekness was in direct proportion to the lead teacher's level of Alpha-ness. Well, that was yesterday, baby!!
Once I realized the problem I was able to kill it, and I finally went back to my old bossy self last night in class. Doomsday (aka The Dragon) taped me teaching & let me watch it & I could see a major difference in my behavior, stance, everything. Finally. The cake isn't completely baked, yet, though, I could tell I still needed to be even stronger. Not a problem, I'm on it.
So tonight, The Gentleman, sweet sweet sweet, is letting me take his class. I've never taught a whole class before & just saw the lesson plan & its nothing I've ever taught before! D'oh!! This is gonna be fun...
Speaking of fun, last night in MMA I got to partner with the Library Lady. Oh, how I wish she would go to Apprentice whenever I do! She is so much fun to train with, we're well matched in size, strength, and temperament. Oh, well, I'll take time with her when I can get it. You know, my whole life the majority of my friends have been male, I've never really been able to relate to other females well. One thing I love about F & F is there are so many females there who actually like the things I like. Punching things, for instance. Fight chicks rule.